Have you ever had someone tell you they'd pray for you?
It's a little creepy to me, especially if the person is not of the same faith as I am.
How will they pray for me?
Will they light a candle, talk it over with Jesus maybe?
Freaks me out just to think about it. Still, here is someone who is willing to take it upon themselves to speak to God on my behalf and all I can think about is how uneasy it makes me feel.
Conversely I am becoming increasingly disconcerted by the amount of prayer requests I've been receiving. Being a fairly active Jewess-about-town, and general web-head I am emailed regularly by several Jewish mail services.
I receive several emails a day that ask for my prayers- for example:Please daven for _________ bas _______ a young mother of three who was in a car accident late yesterday.
Your tehillim are needed right now for _________bas _________ a grandmother in surgery!
__________ ben ___________ had a stroke this morning and only a miracle can save him, he needs all our teffilot!
Of course I know they are all tragic, serious, deserving of my attention, and I wish all these people a complete and speedy recovery, but guess what?I'm a terrible davener.
I'm terrible about davening (I'm a woman, it's OK) and I'm no good at it either.
I wish I could dive right into tehillim every time I got an email like that but I can't.
The best I could probably offer is lip service and don't you think God would see right through that? Unless I'm feeling particularly spiritual or I'm close to the situation at hand there is no way I can pray meaningfully about it. I don't know these people, God is WAY up there, and who am I? I'm nobody, a sinner, who doesn't pray unless she wants something and now you expect me to bring your mother, cousin, neighbor, friend and sister a MIRACLE?! I can't do it.
I've actually started deleting these emails because the guilt was killing me. How can I let I let all these suffering people down because I'm a lazy, selfish, kavanaless, person? It's easier for me not to know.
OK maybe I'm not a terrible person, we all have our strengths, but praying is not mine. I'm more action oriented. If there was something to DO I'd DO it. Does someone need a babysitter, a meal, a friend, a visitor, a ride somewhere? I'm your woman! But PLEASE don't ask me to pray for you. I can't take the pressure.