Come, let us sit in a circle of non-judgment so that I may reveal my deep dark secret to you, my j-blogging brethren...
I am a married, Orthodox, Jewish woman and I have only two children.
Or as my husband likes to say, we are "losing the baby race."
This situation can be interpreted in a few ways depending on your point of view:My Bais Yaackov buddies:
Since my old high school friends know me from my frummy days (and in fact I am still quite committed to Torah) they assume there must be something terribly wrong with my reproductive health. I'm sure if I could find some record of the ladies tehillim list in Matesdorf or Bayit V'gan I'd find my name on more than one. When we talk about our children they tell me to have faith or try to encourage me by regaling me with tales of miraculous and unexpected childbearing.Toby Katz:
According to recent excerpts from her great body of work (and by work I mean the alienation of Jews unlike herself) a Jewish woman's sole purpose is to bear and raise Jewish children. That understood I must either be a bad Jew, a bad woman or maybe both! Maybe I'm not even a Jew OR a woman, that would certainly be an interesting turn of events!My Relatives:
You know Shifra, sweetheart, I wasn't going to say anything, you know we don't like to mix in... But your Uncle Max and I were talking to your Bubby, and you know, we were wondering if you were planning to have more children. I mean of course it's your business but you know that we were hoping you'd name a son after Max's brother Hymie. You are such a good mother, it just seemed like a natural thing you'd want more children, so nu?Ultra Orthodox Jews:
Just two kids? A shandeh. Not that we are surprised, we didn't really think you were frum anyway.
Your college education and lack of pantyhose were a dead giveaway.
Better that you should just mess up the two you've got with your modernishe ways and leave the next generation to our ill mannered and undereducated little darlings.Modern Orthodox Jews:
Yeshiva tuition is the best birth control - hahaha!
You guys aren't getting divorced or anything are you?
OK, just kidding hahahaha!The Rest of the World:
The rest of the world sees me with my two beautiful daughters. They know I enjoy being a mother and that's that. Once in a while I hear "Do you plan to have more?" or "Would you like to have a boy?" But do you hear the language? Do I PLAN to have more would I LIKE to have a boy. There is no judgment, and there is also a realization that this is MY BUSINESS.