I’m not a matchmaker but I play one on the web.
My matchmaking parody went off so well that I’ve been asked to continue it as a feature in an effort to help some of our single J-Blogging friends find true happiness (or whatever lie we are supposed to tell single folks to get them down the aisle.)
With no further ado I give you:
The Bochar of the Month
July’s eligible bachelor is known to the web as halfnutcase
, he’s 20 but assures me he will be turning 21 in early Cheshvan. His mental age has been put anywhere between five and twenty-five. Yoni, as he is know to his friends, doesn’t drink, and lives in the eastern US but is willing to travel the country to meet Miss Right if necessary.
Here are some highlights from his internet interview with yours truly:
Shifra: Do you consider yourself ready for marriage?
Yoni: Ready to be a parent? Sure. Ready to work my tail off...yes. completely. [Am I] sure I can manage actually earning enough now? i hope so!
Shifra: What are you doing with your life these days?
Yoni …. [I’m] in collage so that i can get a secular teaching degree... to go back to the yeshiva system with and start doing something productive!
Shifra: What do you wish you were doing with your life?
Yoni: Teaching, raising and taking care of kids, and all the other good stuff. Is now a good time to mention that I can cook, clean house, do dishes, do laundry (including the ironing.) Also, I'm fairly good with children, (as well as babysitting/taking care of them.) I want to be able to make enough money to keep my wife happy but since I want to be a teacher she’ll have to have reasonable expectations.
Shifra: What is your level of observance?
Yoni: Chassidic. I was m'karev to the Chassidim through Chabad. But I’m not connected to a particular branch of Chassidus nor do I sit on the sidelines when people say "this is enough anyone who does more is crazy!" I try to grow in my observance constantly.
Shifra: What is your general haskafa?
Yoni: I don't know what to put for that. My "hero" growing up was probably Reb Baruch who is the center of the Friedeker Lubavitcher Rebbe’s memoirs? I really never bothered putting it in to words. I guess it's just to grow, learn and do what ever we can. Isn't that what we are supposed to do?
Shifra: Where do you stand on the political spectrum?
Yoni: I rather dislike both sides. They are way to polarized. I'd rather see what is best for everyone happen. Not one particular party line.
Shifra: What does marriage mean to you?
Yoni: Someone to do things for, to help, and to raise children with together in torah.
Shifra: What are you looking for in a wife?
Yoni: Someone who wont play games with people’s feelings, who will not sit by the wayside while someone suffers. Someone who cares, someone who just doesn't like doing things just because that's how everyone else does it, even if it isn't really the right or the best thing to do. Someone who will defend friends and family. Someone intelligent. Someone with respect for those different than herself. This one is kinda odd but the kind of person who knows when to tell her husband when he's getting to the point of working himself to death. I guess more than anything it's "genuineness" that I am looking for.
Next I asked our bachelor bochur to rate his priorities on a scale from one to ten.
Priorities- Rate of a scale of one to ten how important are the following issues to you in a potential mate:
Sense of Humor 8
Physical Attractiveness 3
Torah learning 7
Torah observance 9 (very)
Relationship with Family 9
Being a Maverick: 10 (Yoni added that one!)
Not being a fanatic: 10 (Yoni’s too)
In terms of his own PERSONAL priorities Yoni answered as follows:
Earning potential 4
Relationship with family 6-7
Social Status 2
Religious Observance 9
Sense of humor 8
Talents or hobbies 4-6
Political leanings 4
Does this fine young fellow sound like a dream come true? Or would you like to be the next Bachur(or Bas Yisroel) of the Month?
Write me at Shifraq@gmail.com and we’ll set things up!
Disclaimer: I don’t actually KNOW this fellow in real life so if you choose to date him yer on yer own.