The Squeaky (single) Wheel
Following a very insightful, clever and apt post by airtime regarding the real meaning of marriage a commenter calling him/herself StillSearching said...
"What about the singles waiting to be married collect $$$$$$ for hachnasas kala but do nothing for singles."
I noticed the same comment (apropos of nothing) on DovBear's blog under his post on Aidel Maidle and her belief in lifesaving powers of birthdays.
"What about the singles waiting to be married. People collect $$$$$$ for hachnasas kala but do nothing for singles Invey Hagefen Homepage 07.10.05 - 11:35 pm # "
Either this man or woman (I'm guessing it's a man) accidentally posted his comment in two places under two different names or he's really desperate to get the message out about the mistreatment of Jewish singles. As always I'm happy to give my take on the situation and open it up to the chevrah for comments.
First off I'm not really sure what exactly is being compared here:
Is this person outraged that people are donating this "$$$$$$$" (which I can only assume means big bucks) for weddings and not giving the same amount to help singles to find their mate? Should we set up a gemach, or a free loan society, so singles can borrow clothes, cars or whatever they need to impress a date?
Clearly the financially insolvent are making it to the point of engagement (perhaps by going on dates that consist of sitting in their parents' living rooms, airports, or hotel lobbies and not eating or drinking) hence the need for all this wedding related charity.
So what is the issue here exactly?
The work "waiting" in the phrase "waiting to be married" jumps out to me immediately. Marriage does not come to a person who waits around for his one true love to drop out of the sky neatly labeled "YOUR WIFE, HANDLE WITH CARE" Dating anyway you choose to do it requires effort, thought and hard work. Although I myself was married young I have many friends who suffered through miserable periods or dating (or not dating) before they found their husband or wife. When they did find their mate it was not something that happened magically, it was something they sought actively.
I assume though, that there is more to invey/stillwaiting's comment, perhaps I am not sensitized to the plight of the single yid since I've been married for so long. I'd like to hear more.
What can we do for you Stillwaiting?