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Ask Shifra

Something Different... Answering questions and making curious observations (online) since 2005.


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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Matchmaking!

Note: I had originally written this out with links to all the blogs and comments and my computer ate it. Perhaps that was a sign that this piece is in poor taste. Not withstanding, here is the lazy woman’s version of my original post since I don't have the time or patience to do it all again.
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By pulling together information from various blogs I have come up with the ultimate shidduch, a perfect match! The bad news is that should these two humans marry and mate they may unleash upon us most narrow minded offspring known to the Jewish world.

Coming soon to only Simchas: Heshy and Lisa!

Heshy

From Rachak's blog we learn that Heshy is divorced and single.
From DovBear's blog we learn that he is a mysogist but that it is not the turn off one might think (for some women anyway.) He loves Torah but not Jews who are unlike himself.
We also learn from his comments on DB that Heshy feels that the suffering any person (or six million people for that matter) undergoes is of his own making.
From his own site we learn that he prepares a full traditional Shabbos meal free of charge for any and all who will sit and listen to his religious diatribes while they eat.
From the photo on Jewschool it appears that Ol' Heshy enjoys a bit of the kugel himself now and then.

Lisa

Based on her comments on Dovbear and the Godol Hador's follow up I see Lisa as follows:
Lisa is a woman who believe in the spirituality of kugel, so much so that she uses it as a proof for God's very existence. She is a traditionalist and not fond of change bristling at the idea of serving sushi over the traditional gefilte fish for example. She also feels that people who do not follow God's will (to her understanding) will not reap his promised rewards. This is the kinder, gentler flip-side to Heshy's fire and brimstone notion of justice.

While Lisa's martial status is unknown to me at this time I think it is only a matter of time before she gives up whatever she's got going on for this Daf Yomi lovin' kugel eatin' man of action.

Let's get these two together and see what happens.

17 Comments:

At 11:01 PM, Blogger Eliyahu said...

i started hearing music, matchmaker, matchmaker...make..when i read this. who are your next couple?

 
At 11:12 PM, Anonymous Shifra said...

Hmmm.... I don't know are you available for matching?

 
At 12:42 AM, Blogger Eliyahu said...

with the reversal of a certain rabbinic decree and some more funds, anything is possible....however, i hear the best ones are all taken.

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger orthomom said...

This could be a really funny feature. JDate of the day.

 
At 11:11 AM, Anonymous Shifra said...

This match was just glaring at me from the comments section (Zoo Keeper noticed it- saying something about the two of them sitting in a tree....)

Send me your suggestions and I will be happy to blog them :)

 
At 12:40 PM, Anonymous Little Wolf said...

Shifra:

This may be the most frightening blog post I've read. The idea of those two reproducing is ... Well I think I will stop there.

If I were a Christian, I would believe you were trying to produce the anti-christ.

 
At 2:38 PM, Anonymous Little Wolf said...

The other thing I wanted to add. I like kugel well enough, but if I was going to pick a food to prove G-D's existence it would have to be Chocolate. Somehow I think that is much more fitting, not to mention tasty.

 
At 4:37 PM, Blogger Halfnutcase said...

that would be a weird match. and btw,

can i be the next victim? :-D

 
At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Thulsa Doom said...

What about us lonely Goyim?

 
At 8:11 PM, Anonymous Shifra said...

As a general comment I'd like to say that I had not planned to get into the match making biz but that PARTICULAR match was just too hard to resist.

Halfnut if you'd like me to make you my next matchup victim I'd be happy to. Give me a little time to read up on you and then we'll see if we can't find someone for ya.

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger Halfnutcase said...

:-)

 
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www.kissyourdate.com

 
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