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Ask Shifra

Something Different... Answering questions and making curious observations (online) since 2005.

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Monday, April 30, 2007

The natural declination of the bath towel

1. The bath towel arrives as a gift - perhaps it was a wedding present or gift from a relative who has recently stayed at your house and was unimpressed by the worn Scooby Doo beach towel left neatly folded on the end of her bed.

2. The towel(s) stay in it's box a while sure they look nice, maybe a little too nice. Then there is always the question of washing them... Should you wash them before using them? Who wants to wash a new towel? Not me. Probably they should be washed seperately too, in case they bleed. No thanks, I'll wait.

3. Finally the day arrives when the towels are removed from the box - usually it's because all the other towels are in use or in the laundry. Of course with a so many towels ahead of it in line for the washer it's just going straight into service- manufacturers directions be damned.

4. Once this towel is properly washed and dried it becomes the ultimate towel. For guests only and occasionally the grownups of the house. When someone spills punch all over the carpet and you yell for one of the kids to bring a towel THIS is the towel they will bring you. Continue yelling until they bring you a different towel.

5. After a year or so the novelty will wear off and this towel will join the general population as a "good towel" still good enough for guests but it's up for grabs, who ever gets it gets it.

6. Many, MANY washings later this towel is now sub par. Not for guests, and the last choice for showers. It is now free to travel - to the play room for tea parties, to school as part of a king achashverosh costume, and to the beach.

7. When a towel gets to level seven get a large sharpie marker and write your last name on the edge in huge letters. This officially makes it a camp towel, and even though you only have a 50% of seeing it at the end of the summer the act of writing your name on it means you have made an effort. Camp towels can also be used to soak up punch from the couch as needed.

8. Should the towel return home from camp until the end of the summer (or summers if you are VERY lucky) your towel can now be cut up into rags for dusting or shoe polishing.
My mother once commented that my rags were "too raggy"
My response?
"And people say you are critical! HA!"

9. After that there's nothing left to do but toss them out.

The End

List Week!

I love lists- making them, reading them, crossing things off.
It's a very direct form of writing and a big help to me in my daily life because although I aspire to be an organized person, by nature I am not.
In fact, I'm surprised I have not written about lists before on the blog since they are so much a part of my day-to-day life.

So this week I am dedicating my blog to all things list!
I'm all excited now, so let's get things started right away:

(in no particular order)

The art of the shopping list
Things I've learned from the flood(s) in my basement
A list of my JIB nominations and my feelings about them
The natural declination of the bath towel
Types of Hot Chanies I've encountered since writing about them
Things NOT to say to your wife in bed
Religious/Cultural issues I struggle with
List of old posts that continue to get hits and some guesses about why they do

OK I'd better stop now before the list gets just a little too ambitious, after all part of the art of list making is knowing when to stop.


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Awww... you shouldn't have!

It's Monday, and it's been a whole week since I've posted.
I don't like to use my blog as a place to whine and complain (although I'll admit to having done so in the past) so I chose to not post for a bit and concentrate on my bass playing, and shop vac-ing, and carpet tearing out, skills instead. Sufficed to say that my basement is still a mess, and I'm still not insured, and I'm still no Mark Skier.

HOWEVER.... here's some that cheered me up: JIB NOMINATIONS!
Did you know that I've been nominated for best personal blog, best humor blog, and a few best post nominations besides?!
Thanks guys! Go ahead and vote for me if you like.

Now, I understand that there has been some controversy surrounding these awards but I'm just out of the loop enough to NOT know exactly what that controversy is (feel free to enlighten me but please, don't get all hostile, I like to keep it friendlylike in the comments section.)

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Monday, April 16, 2007


It really needs to stop raining.

The horrible oily water in my basement is at 8" and rising.
In addition I couldn't get in to work today because of flooding and my desk is probably covered in about 8" of paperwork as well.

OK no time to blog... See you... sometime.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Pesach Wrap Up

I'm back. Pesach was nice... a little too much time away from home, specifically a little too much time in close proximity with relatives (I'll not be doing that again anytime soon) but overall a good break.

I'm got a lot to catch up on at work so just a few things to tide you over for now.

Chavi Kaufman at the Seder

Chavi: Zaidy? Why do we have the afikoman?
Zaidy: (offers a brief explaination) ...and when the Bais Hamikdash is rebuilt the afikoman will once again be replaced by the korbon Pesach!
Chavi: Wow! ....but how do you hide a whole lamb?

Kurt Vonnegurt

One of my favorite writers, and one of the biggest influences on my own writing, has passed away today. Please take a few minutes read this simple but effective essay on writing which I was fortunate to come across in my teenage years.
I think it's some of the best writing advice I've ever received.

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