Coffee Quiz
Q. When when did this blog become a repository of links and miscellany with no creative or substantial content?
A. Since I got sick for two weeks and fell behind on EVERYTHING.
I'm catching up... bear with me.
In the meantime take this vicious little coffee quiz and post your results in the comments!
posted by Shifra @ 9:54 AM
40 Comments:
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Clueless
You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink hot chocolate are strippers.
Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Lame
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks vente coffee.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
Apparently I am lame :-( -- Ok, that may be true, but I do not curse...ever! I also don't watch America's funniest home videos.
by the way, I LOVE V8!
Personality type: Freak
No person of sound mind would go to an EXPENSIVE COFFEE SHOP to get a drink WITHOUT CAFFEINE. Your hobbies include going to ski resorts in the summer and flushing $5 bills down the toilet. You are a menace to society.
Also drinks: Non-alcoholic beer
Can also be found at: Pools with no water
Hey, welcome new commenters (or thanks for delurking!)
Here's mine:
Personality type: Lame
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks a medium vanilla latte.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
I actually do love V8 but not America's Funniest home videos!
Just like Moshe!
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "extra large coke" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves.
Personality type: Clueless
You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Mocha are strippers.
Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
Wow. Pretty Brutal. No wonder I don't go to Starbucks.
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: High Maintenance
You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.
Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars
(Boy, this isn't ME at all! Just ask my family and friends, LOL!)
I told you it's vicious!
Don't worry we don't believe a word of it, it's just for fun (which is a word I'm using loosely today.)
Personally I prefer The Coffee Bean.
I also got the 'High Maintenance'... but that's just because the only thing i ever get at Starbucks is a "medium-sized black coffee in the larger-sized cup, and a chocolate milk box drink".
Hooray! I'm also lame because I drink bottled frappacinnos! But nothing else that tastes like dessert is kosher, so what is a non-coffee girl supposed to do? Anyway, I don't watch TV, I don't curse, and I DON'T drink V8...and what's wrong with the couch at home? :)
I don't care for their coffee (prefer Dunkin Donuts) so I hardly ever go to Starbucks. I guess my rating would be "b'chlall out of the parsha".
Elie
"Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "shut up and leave me alone" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves."
Hee hee, I'm such a five-year-old.
Bill Maher says:
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge as*hole.
Every day I order a venti, drip, double cup with a sleeve. The Starbuckserator says I'm high maintenance. A bit anal, yes, but not high maintenance. Humph!
Double cup with a sleeve!?
Maybe you should keep oven mitts in your glove compartment ;-)
Elie - yes, yes you are :-)
Personality type: Hippie (Yes, once upon a time, as the cliche goes!)
But let's revise that and now call it "Aware"
"In addition to being a hippie" - this is the only slight comparison that holds ANY TRUTH. The 'Hippie type' is quite passee, actually from the 60's. In this almost 6th millenium I would call it connected to a higher spiritual life, aware, independent thinker, trend innovator, thoughtful, honest and creative.
Beverages I enjoy: are herbal, organic and full of vitamins because they ARE better than coke, cola and deadly white sugar.
Whole Foods is entertainment beside providing the freshest veggies and gluten-free creative foods.
HOWEVER, I really liked the idea of a coffee personality quiz. Maybe do this weekly, but select a different food each time!
"Maybe you should keep oven mitts in your glove compartment ;-)"
I think you're recycling material. I could swear I've heard that from you before... that's not say it wasn't funny the first time around.
Yes SW, you are right but that was over email - this time the whole world can hear my great advice to you :-)
I do try to keep my material fresh but you set me up!
I tried v8
and it laughed at me
Starbuckto, ergo sum?
hot chanie -- the oracle really nailed you, eh?
well, I did learn from the oracle that size doesn't matter by ordering the same beverage in different sizes. that oracle really has a 'tude!
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Hippie
In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks tall soy latte with vanilla should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.
Also drinks: Beverages with lots of marketing that says they're herbal and organic
Can also be found at: Whole Foods, indoor rock climbing facilities
SOOOO not true. I only eat Cholov Yisroel so I get soy milk instead of regular. I am not a health nut. I eat tons of crap (but I do work out) I do not live in California and I have never changed my sexual orientation. YIKES!
Personality type: Clueless
You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink regular pure chocolate are strippers.
BTW Jameel, that description is totally you.
Am I the *first* one to be an...
Personality Type:Asshat
You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink vente espresso are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.
Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better
(P.S. I don't really drink Vente Espresso. I just like the way it sounds. That probably makes me a HUGE "asshat")
shifra, you're definately not lame! me - latte is the only starbucks drink i can pronounce, so it's always a grande latte or, wait, is it a latte grande? whatever...and a lemon bar, too, please.
I got either "high maintenence" or "clueless [stripper]".
What's wrong with a good ol' Venti Caramel Latte with whip, syrup no sauce [which isn't kosher]? Or the same thing iced, but little ice? Is that so high maintenence? :::sob:::
Hey, at least we have a Starbucks in my building so I don't have to go outside to get it. :)
Oh, and Shifra: When when did this blog become a repository of links and miscellany with no creative or substantial content?
...not that there's anything wrong with that! [coughCOUGH]
Miriam, you are one good sport!
Do none of you self proclaimed Starbucks drinkers know how to spell Venti?
BTW, I thought Starbucks isen't kosher. People here only go to coffee bean
BTW, I thought Starbucks isen't kosher. People here only go to coffee bean
hot chanie -- perhaps i spoke too soon. maybe you're not High Maintenance. the other hot chanies that i know, undoubtedly pale in comparison, appear to have a great need to shop & lots of time to get ready for the world. not to mention being more than a little self-centered. so much for the Oracle.
Well, it thinks I'm lame because I ordered water. I didn't know soy milk was an option (also cholov yisroel) and I don't actually drink coffee anyway. Actually, I've never set foot in a Starbucks, so I've no idea what I would actually order!
I got the "Hippie" too. Must be the soy milk.
But seriously, not the dreaded bacon cheeseburger!!
"Allie said...
Do none of you self proclaimed Starbucks drinkers know how to spell Venti?"
1) Yes.
2) Can you properly pronounce venti?
I refuse to say Venti or Grande or even tall... if you are in America speak English.
You are aware that they more or less all mean large...
Oh, and to answer your question - the correct pronunciation of Venti is VAYN-tee
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