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Ask Shifra

Something Different... Answering questions and making curious observations (online) since 2005.


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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Today I went down to the cosmetics department of my local Macy's department store.

It's safe now, by the way. They've stopped spraying innocent shoppers with perfume. I'm sure that this change must have been brought about by some kind of allergy related lawsuit but I'm glad the perfume sample lady's reign of terror is finally over. I'm not a big fan of perfume or shopping so having to suffer an eyefull of sweet smelling mace just to get to the missy sportwear department just wasn't worth the bother.

My mission today is to find some makeup to cover up the dark cirles under my eyes.
It's a genetic thing. My grandmother has circles, my mother does, even Bas-Shifra has them. Add in the fact that I never get enough sleep and that the little bit of a tan I got this summer is pretty much history and I start looking like those anemic children you see in horror movies (well around the eyes anyway) at just about this time every year.

I approach the counter and tell the woman what I'm looking for and she begins to dutifully study my complexion and examine the 50 or more bottles of skin toned makeup to see what my perfect color match might be.

Could it be "honey beige," "matte bisque," or "light almond?"
No it could not.
Oh dear let's try "taupe" or "rich nude" (I loved that one!)
No no, not quite right.

Mind you, I know very well what color I am. It's the same every time. Color #01 the first freaking color in the grid. I am, and have always been, the lightest customer that Macys ever expects to meet.

Still, I let the woman try in the hopes that perhaps THIS time I may get to be something more than the wan #01. Could I be #05? Or even just #02? I did go for a couple of lunchtime walks this week and I've been eating a lot of carrots...

Nope - she's found it, good old "pale petal" color #01.
I am, once again, the fairest of them all.

20 Comments:

At 11:34 PM, Blogger MC Aryeh said...

There are certainly worse things. As a blue-eyed redhead, I often find myself the fairest skinned person in a given room. As a guy, I have never been the victim of a perfume lady's reign of terror, but I don't feel like I am missing out. Who comes up with these color names?

 
At 1:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

have you considered that you might have allergies?
those dark circles can be a soft sign of allergies

 
At 1:56 AM, Blogger SJ said...

As a fellow porcelain skinned sufferer of violent violet under-eye circles, I can relate to your plight. However, I refuse to buy any makeup more expensive than what I find at the local drugstore, so I've never shared your excruciating makeup counter experience.

 
At 6:15 AM, Blogger Shifra said...

Ah, there are certainly worse things than dark circles (and yes I do suffer from mild allergies) but six extra dollars once a year at the makeup counter for "the good stuff" feels worth it to me.

Thanks for the empathy.
Pale faces UNITE!

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger Elie said...

OK, as a guy, I relate to this stuff about as well as someone who never read Tolkien relates to Elvish. But the punch line was great!

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger Y.Y. said...

you are white as a gohst ohhh thasts scary

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger sheva7777 said...

I, too, am extremely fair and I also have circles under my eyes. They are ABSOLUTELY genetic. They do get arker with age but I remember being a little puffy even at a very young age. I can tell already that my 6-year old has inherited this gene also (sorry kid). So I know what you are feeling. But when I go to the counter I just say I need the lightest concealer (also profoundly name "number 1") I have no time or patience for trying out different shades.

 
At 11:43 AM, Anonymous the one who will soon become known... said...

Well, Shifra White...

Don't sweat it... tans are overrated.

White girls ROCK!!!

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger PsychoToddler said...

I got the bug eyes too, but I'm not sure if that's from allergies (rubbed a lot as a kid) or just genetic. When I don't get enough sleep it's frightening. Which is all the time!

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Shifra said...

The one... when will you make yourself known already!!

 
At 4:53 PM, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

I don't have this problem, but some have accused me of organizing my own reign of terror.

 
At 5:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Could it be an Ashkenazi thing? I have dark circles too; but I'm "matte bisque" or something like that makeup-wise. (Pretty darn fair, but not the fairest.)

 
At 11:43 PM, Anonymous the one who will soon become known... said...

Shifra-
Every time I think about making myself known, something inside holds me back. I think i'm afraid of being judged...
The veil of anomynity is comforting. But I am getting fed up with it. So one of these days, I will emerge. But for now you can call me caterpillar. I was actually considering "coming out" on Nov. 1st (because it is the day when the masks come off) but when the first arrived, I didn't feel ready. I may have to wait until Shushan Purim now!!!

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger miriam said...

Shifra, I never go anywhere near makeup counters if I can avoid it, but back in the days when I actually wore makeup, I too was a #1. (And I'm not old or anything, I'm in my early 30s, I just gave up on makeup a long time ago. Besides, dh hates it.)

A pediatrician once tried to tell me, when I complained about my 6mo old son having dark circles under his eyes, that he didn't really, it just looked that way to me "because his skin is so much lighter than yours..." nice try honey, but you have to be partial albino to have skin lighter than mine! Thinner, I might have believed, but lighter? NO way.

Anyway, you're in good company, (at least I think so!) on the light skin... and I am going to have to use that fairest of all comment! Hope you don't mind. I'll try to remember (b'li neder) to attribute it properly to you.

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger MDmom said...

when i was in college i had an african american friend who called me the "whitest woman in the world." i, too, am a #01. it actually simplifies things. my mom can always bring me make-up from the states when it's bonus time.

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger littlejerseygirl said...

I just recently started to notice those dark circles around my eyes. Of course when I ask DH if I'm starting to look "racoony" he bolts out the door really fast. Just like when I ask him if I look fat in this skirt.
Maybe it's time to head over to the MAC counter.

 
At 2:19 PM, Blogger princesschaya said...

hey, i think i can beat you...the #1 colour concelaer OF ANY TYPE is too dark for me...and even on the hottest summer days, i never tan...just burn and peel...so consider yourself lucky!

 
At 7:04 PM, Anonymous holy Hyrax said...

Well Shifra, eat enough of those carrots, and instead of color #01, you'll be a cool pantone 166c

http://www.simon.ca/PANTONE1.htm

PS- write some manly posts

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger muse said...

When I was in NY for a wedding, I went into a discount make-up store and found some concealer. It looks like lipstick a beatnik wore in 1958, and I'm dark.

 
At 5:05 PM, Anonymous Rach said...

I feel bad for my children, I always thought I was as white as it gets, until I met my chosson. IY"H, they will be transparent, but very loved!

 

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