The Man who Mistook his Meatball Sandwich for a Heart Attack
I'm twice blessed.
First that I have a sweet husband and second that he doesn't read my blog.
So here a story about his adventures but let's just keep it between us OK?
Last night my husband came home from work quite late at night and starving. He headed straight for the fridge and was happy to find a big pot of delicious sweet and sour meatballs I had made for Shabbos. I had planned to serve 1/2 as an appetizer Friday night and freeze the rest but I forgot about the freezing and left the remainder in the fridge.
My happy husband dumped the pot into a glass bowl microwaved the lot and ate it on thick slices of challah. When I came downstairs he was munching away happily cheeks as full as a squirrel's in the fall.
About two hours later as I was falling asleep my husband came upstairs to tell me he didn't feel so great and was going to stay up for a little while. Half and hour later he was back upstairs asking me what the symptoms are for a heart attack. I told him to take some tums, which he did. Then he went to Web MD and started self diagnosing - which is always fun, especially for hypochondriacs. By this time he was feeling a lot worse and was bordering on a panic attack.
His arm was numb he was having chest pains he was starting to freak out so he went off to the ER. I agreed it was better to be safe than sorry and normally I would have told him to go much earlier but that empty meatball pot was a serious clue to solving this medical mystery.
He was poked and proded, Xray-ed, IVed, measured and tested. He had his blood drawn twice (the doctor didn't like the first result) but eventually they let him go.
It was a little tricky explaining my absence at work today- meatball overdose? Acute hypochondria? but hopefully it will be OK. I'm just glad my husband is feeling better and next time I'll remember to put the leftovers in the freezer.
posted by Shifra @ 9:01 PM
20 Comments:
LOL! Sounds like me. Do NOT let him near WebMD or anything like that. Far too dangerous for hypocondriacs. Last week I thought I was dying of a horrible disease. (This week too, but a different one.)
LOL!
I try to stay away from that website myself! I hear medical students also mysteriously develop every new illness they learn about.
"If this is what you are dreaming about at night I advise you to lay off the meatball before bed."
-- Shifra's comment on DovBear"
I was wondering why of all choices you decided on meatballs as the source for nocturnal delusion.
Glad it was just the meatballs and nothing else.
SW- are you stalking me? ;-)
Actually if my years have reading the comics have taught me anything it's that most stomachaches/nightmares are caused by meatball subs or pizza.
Or maybe it's just that those two foods are quite easy to draw...
Glad hubby is OK! This is one of those textbook "you'll look back on this and laugh" situations, though I'm sure that perspective doesn't help much this morning.
On a side note, you need a blog-name for hubby, like your "Bas-Shifra" and "Chavi Kaufman" for your daughters. How about "Ish-Shifra"? Or "Meatball Man"? Any other suggestions?
Meathead.
Good to hear that Hubby is ok.
Now, "Bas Shifra" is simply just not acceptable. How about going for the bad puns....
"Puah"
(at least, according to one opinion in the gemara; I don't ift Shifra has daughters in law)
I believe that my husband was coined "Amram" by the LabRab some time ago.
I love Meathead though - you have to say it in an Archie Bunker whine for full effect.
Maybe I am missing something... Shifra, your story totally confuses me. Maybe it is because I have never cooked meatballs. Was there a problem with leaving them in the fridge? Were they from last shabbos or being cooked for this coming shabbos? I'm not really sure why you would assume there is a problem with eating meatballs... I think I am missing a step here that is apparent to marrieds who cook but is unfamiliar to singles who don't have as much food experience...
Response to "The One Who...":
Ummm... the guy got bad heartburn and thought he was having a heart attack? Happens all the time, just not everyone tells the story as entertainingly as Shifra!
Leftover meatballs just happened to be the food involved - no hidden meaning or special significance, as far as I can tell.
So when will you become "known" already? Are you a recognized blogger in disguise, or are you just yanking our chain?
Actually, heartburn is the most common thing that is confused with heart attacks.
Oh, Shifra, if you are a big All in the Family fan, you'd probably like Mrs. B's and my usual home-from-work exchange:
How was your day, Mark?
Stinko as usual.
Thank G-d he's okay --
which is fantastic... first because thank G-d he's okay, and second, because now you have something to laugh at him about that will last a long time - which makes it twice as good :)
2 years ago, to break the fast after tisha b'av I had a huge omlette(hash browns, salsa, two kinds of cheese) and a couple bagels. The next day, while working, I had chest pain,,,, went through the same thing your husband did(except they insisted on making me stay over night). Thank God it was nothing. Now I keep the salsa out after fast days.
And, btw, hypocondriasis is manifest in medical students. One day we learned about a particularly horrifying always fatal disease and the average age of onset was 21, and it happened to be my 21st birthday that week, and I was convinced for quite a while that I was a goner.
Nice reference to Oliver Saks book, btw.
Elie- Thanks for explaining it. It wasn't clear from the story. I thought there was something wrong with the meatballs since they weren't put in the freezer or something. I am not a "recognized" blogger but I do have a blog. I'm just not ready to come out yet :-) (10 points if you can find it). Oh and Shifra... I too enjoyed the Oliver Saks reference.
too funny! i hope he's fully recovered enough to laugh it next time he hears the story. maybe we should check. what's his email, btw?
I also appreciate the Oliver Saks reference--he spoke at my Commencement.
doctor didn't like the first result
And why should he, when he could be perfectly happy billing you for a second test.
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