I'm heading out west to see my brother in the morning so I wanted to put up another update and share a few of my thoughts before I go.
First the update:
Thursday was quite a rollercoaster of emotion of myself and my family. We went from being concerned about the surgery, to worry over how poorly it was going, to sadness that we were losing him to euphoria when after being unhooked from life support for the last time his heart miraculous started to beat again!
All his vitals have remained stable over Shabbos. He was able to shake his head yes and no to questions and to squeeze the doctor's hand when asked. They've returned him to deep sedation to allow him to rest and are keeping him intubated at least until tomorrow. It's going to be a long recovery but so far so good. I'll give his had a squeeze from all of you when I see him.
Now a few thoughts:
Loyal readers will know I have mixed feeling about asking people to say tehillim for someone.
Beyond that, although I love helping people, it's a real weakness of mine that I don't like to ASK for help.
In addition to that I've tried to keep my real identity hidden because I don't think I'm brave/confident/stupid/fearless/whatever enough to blog with my identity revealed.
So what do these three things have in common? They all made posting my brother's hebrew name here on the blog seem like a bad/risky idea to me.
I didn't know what to do - then Trep- a very, very good man made the decision for me and posted my brother's hebrew name in the comments section. A decision I knew right away was the right one.
B'H my brother's name has traveled all over the place through the internet, over the phone, in shuls all over the place. I've heard that tehillim was said for him under the chuppah at wedding in NY! So it seems inevitable that my identity will not be a secret much longer.
Don't get too excited now, I'm no one special, just a regular woman with regular problems, a regular family, and a regular job. I just worry about keeping that "regular" lifestyle if people find out I'm a blogger. So I'll have to think about what the next step is for me.
In the meantime I'll be away until Thursday night without internet or email access (no, I will not be in Lakewood, but close enough...) but I will call OM with updates that she can post here on my blog so I don't leave all of you hanging until them.
I wish you all a shavuah tov- and I'll let you know what I've decided about the blog next week.