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Ask Shifra

Something Different... Answering questions and making curious observations (online) since 2005.

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Well it's about time... The Modern and the Orthodox Vol. 6

Setting: 6:30AM the following morning at the home of Baruch and Malky Rosenberg.
Malky wakes up with a start. It's late and the kids are not up yet.
She looks over at Baruch's bed - already made but that's not unusual, he's a morning person, whereas Malky is more of a coffee person.

She quickly gets dressed, puts up the coffee and makes the rounds waking the kids - last night's latke/sugar rush party at Bubby and Zaidy's and yields two complaints of stomachaches and one headache (which may have something to do with a chumash test but it is not clear.) Between all the medical complaints, missing workbooks, breakfasts and bagged lunches Malky doesn't even notice that the minivan is still in the driveway until she goes out to walk her kids to the bus stop.

When she returns home she walks downstairs to find her husband in his office looking bleary eyed but hopeful.

Malky: Baruch, were you up all night?!

Baruch: Yes, I'll explain it all to you after Shachris and a stop at my mother's. I found some cheap tickets to Israel via Texas, Toronto, and Madrid. If it's alright with you I'd like to leave on Monday, it's very important to me.

Malky: Ok, if that's what you need to do, I'm with you.

Baruch: (elated and exausted) THANK YOU. I love you. OK I have to run, I'll call you later.

Malky packs up her bag for work (as an occupational therapist of course, what did you think?!) and eats the remaining toast crusts her kids left behind, as Baruch quickly washes up and heads out the door.


Setting Shaar Choli Yisroel Hospital the next afternoon.

Doctor: Mrs. Mendlewitz, I'm happy to report that your husband is physically in fine shape. Truely he has the physique of a man who has never worked a day in his life! We'd like to release him today.

Mrs. M: But doctor, his memory... I'm very concerned...

Doctor: I wouldn't worry, I believe this is just a case of traumatic amnesia, you know, from the bump to the head. These things generally don't last more than a day or two. Keep an eye on him, he will probably recover more quickly in his own environment. He may not remember his fall but he seems to be thinking quite clearly otherwise. I can't see any reason to keep him here.

Mrs. M: But...

Doctor: Have a nice day, the nurse will be around with the release forms shortly.

Mrs. Mendlewitz frown at the floor and nervously returns to her husbands bedside.
Rabbi Mendlewitz instinctively opens his eyes although the rebitizen's rubber soled shoes make no sound as she enters the room.

Rabbi M: Sheindy! You're here... Where have you been?

Mrs. M: (gazes upward) Oh, Oh Boruch Hashem!!

AND BACK ACROSS THE OCEAN AGAIN (racking up those frequent reader miles eh?):

Setting: Toronto Canada the meeting of D.O.U.B.T.S (The Downtown Ontario Underground Bittul Torah Society) is coming to a close.

Doctor Idstein: Thank you all for coming out here again tonight, I know it's hard to get away two nights in a row but I think we've done some really good work here these last few days.
Now if there are no more questions let's pass around the shnapps and kugel - Number two? Did you remember to pick up the plastic forks this time? OK Great.

Now remember this week is critical - we need to seek out the weak links, they won't always be easy to spot- be subtle in your line of questioning and remember that next week's meeting will be canceled as I will be scouting Jerusalem for new "recruits" (laughs evilly, chokes on kugel until Number Two whacks him on the back.)


At 3:33 PM, Blogger Elie said...

Great that you got back to it! I had to reread all the old episodes because I had forgotten them, but I still can't begin to guess where you're taking this!

At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you are continuing. I can't wait to see what happens with the adopted guy. Seriously.

At 2:12 AM, Blogger Hila said...

Ok, AWESOME!!! I was about to harrass you to write another issue when, lo and behold, I check back to see Episode 6 posted!!! Brilliant! :-)

Keep up the good work, and good luck with the work/blog situation---I feel your pain, my former job had ridiculously restricted internet access. However, ours was on a timed system (somehow--that's what it must have been because I got around it) so on the weekend and before/after work you could get on sites that you couldn't during the normal 9 to 5 work day. I don't know how much that would help you out since it would still mean during the work day you couldn't check your comments, but it might be worth a shot to find out if your restricted access is like that.

Hmm, I really need to learn how to write in the English language. My apologies for that random mess above. :-)


At 6:31 PM, Blogger Y.Y. said...

awesome you should write an episode daily

At 10:27 PM, Blogger mother in israel said...

"Truely he has the physique of a man who has never worked a day in his life!"


At 5:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just found your blog and your soap opera, and I'm a huge fan! I don't watch TV, so it's nice to have a kosher substitute (undoubtedly one a lot more clever than real soap operas). Keep it up!

At 7:00 PM, Blogger Shifra said...

SJ - welcome to the blog!
I'm glad you enjoy it, I hope I'll find the time to crank out another episode soon.

At 1:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


BT very enthusiastic in learning Torah wants to spend this Shabbos yes this Shabbos in Miami Fl leaving soon

Depending on Hashem to help

nice guy early 40's pleasent in all ways...

Passaic NJ ref'd

please help!

Traveling from Del Rey Beach..Train to Bus...


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