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Ask Shifra

Something Different... Answering questions and making curious observations (online) since 2005.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Bochar of the Month Part II

I love getting comments on my blog.
I also love when people email with questions and comments about my posts or ideas for new ones.
Oh, and fan mail- I LOVE that.
But sometimes a reader comes along with just a little too much time on his hands who wants to say... create a national holiday in my honor...or something.

Clearly said reader has too much time on his hands and what could be a better use of that excess time that finding true love! To that end I have revived my Bochar of the Month feature to help Mar Gavriel find the girl of his dreams - or to help his dream girl find him.

Here's a little interview we put together to give you a profile of this very eligible bachelor- if you are interested in dating Mar Gavriel or know someone who might be drop me a line at Shifraq@gmail.com operators are standing by!

Shifra: Do you consider yourself ready for marriage?
MG : Is anyone ever ready for marriage? Life is about growing.

Shifra: What are you doing with your life these days?
MG: Blogging. (Duhh.)

Shifra: I meant something work, or school
or something - blogging is nice but I'm hoping that's not all there
MG: Academia/university student. But I spend more time blogging than studenting. That was the point of my answer to the "what would you like to be doing in life" question: I would rather be putting more time into writing assigned papers / published articles than into blogging.

Shifra: What do you wish you were doing with your life?
Bachur: Studying. Writing papers. Cleaning up the junk in my apartment. Paying rent and utilities on time.

Shifra: What is your level of observance?

Bachur: Level of observance? What kind of question is that? 2.0? 3.7? I try to keep as many mitzvauss as I can. I wash mayim acharaunim. I hold by the Upper West Side `eiruv. I try to lern tauro as much as possible (even while blogging). I attend operas.

Shifra: What is your general haskafa?
Bachur: Haskafa? What is that, a pre-Ashkenazzic Litvish pronunciation of hashkofo? I'm akademish-frum. Frum maskil. Relativistic Orthodox. (http://margavriel.blogspot.com/2005/09/theology.html) Any interpretation of any text (or concept) can be challenged, as long as it is understood that we must remain fully committed to our practice of halokho. I believe in feminism, and expanding women's rôles in Jewish rituals and lerning, but I am quite skeptical about some of the innovations that our Conservative brethren have made in this realm.

Shifra: Where do you stand on the political spectrum?
Bachur: Liberal. DovBear may be obnoxious, but he's right— I mean left. I mean correct.

Shifra: What does marriage mean to you?
Bachur: A partnership with an equal. The mutual filling-in of each other's chesraunauss (deficiencies). Less loneliness. Raising children (a few years down the line) to perpetuate my values.

Shifra: What are you looking for in a wife?
Yoni: A girl with whom I can have inspirational conversations about diqduq, Torah, chazzonus and related issues, every day. Someone who will allow me to cut down on my blogging addiction (heh!). Someone who will make me accomplish things (rather than be totally useless, like now), yet let me remain as fascinating as I am today.

Next I asked our bachelor bochur to rate his priorities on a scale from one to ten. Priorities- Rate of a scale of one to ten how important are the following issues to you in a potential mate:

Sense of Humor - 6-7
Physical Attractiveness - I would love to say "1" (because that would fit with my general hashkofo), but, being a male mammal, I would have to say at least "4".
Torah learning - 10+
Torah observance - 10
Relationship with Family- whose family—mine? Hers? I don't want someone whose father is supremely evil, like my last girlfriend. I suppose a good relationship with her family Yichus is also good-- would be nice (though of course not crucial) to marry a Rabbi's daughter.

Intelligence- 10+

After than we got into a conversation about what I mean by "personality." After much prodding MG replied.

MG: I'm really diligent at doing things that I want to do (in other words "things that interest me"), but lazy at doing things I don't want to do. I'm looking for someone who will be able to coax me into getting done the things that I don't want to do.
Someone warm is good-- someone who can convert my bad traits on the "red" (warm) side of the scale, such as anger or ta'avo, into good traits on the "red" (warm) side of the scale, such as warmth.

In terms of his own PERSONAL priorities Mar Gavriel answered as follows:

Intelligence- I'm a genious.Just ask Lipman (http://lipmans.blogspot.com/)

Earning potential- I guess I'll earn an acdemic's wages when I complete all my degrees… To raise a family, I'll certainly need two incomes.

Relationship with family- Could be better.

Education - 10+

Social Status - In other words, how am perceived? I guess that's important to me, though perhaps I should work on it. It would be cool to have semikho. (I currently do not have semikho.) Although, CHAZA"L say: "One should never learn for the purpose of having other people address one with cool titles like rav."Religious Observance I'm frum. This is important to me. I'm not one of those people who sees a halokho in a sughyo or in a rishaun and merely says: "Oh, I'm not particularly makpiz about that one." On the other hand, some of my halakhic positions are relatively idiosyncratic.

Personality- Again, what doth that mean? Perhaps Steg (http://boroparkpyro.blogspot.com/) can define my personality better than I can.

Sense of humor- 10, but it's a very strange sense of humor. Virtually the same as Lipman's sense of humor.

Talents or hobbies - Blogging? I should really get a piano, so I can play it again, as I did when I was a kid.

Political leanings- I don't like Republican ideology, but I'm not as vocal as DovBear.

Shifra: How old are you anyway?
MG: Well, I have never mentioned this on the blogosphere, but I can give you the range 20-26. I would consider dating someone 19-28 (towards the older end is better).

See related


At 5:17 PM, Blogger chuck said...

can we get a listing of some girls who are available?
i trying to set up some buddys, but i only know boys
my wife's friends are all marrried so we dont really have what to work with

At 11:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well old are you.. Email privately at Chanastrn@yahoo if you want..

At 3:44 PM, Blogger Sießche [zi:sçə] said...


I am the wife of the famous Lipman and I would like to comment on Mar Gavriel's statements:
1) What "strange sense of humor" are you referring to????
2) Mar Gavriel, don't give up!!!

Good Luck!

PS: My profile name was created by my husband, I would not call myself sweet ;-).

At 3:44 PM, Blogger Phillip Minden said...

Isn't she sweet?

At 3:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello everybody! I do not know where to begin but hope this place will be useful for me.
I will be glad to receive any help at the beginning.
Thanks and good luck everyone! ;)


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