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Ask Shifra

Something Different... Answering questions and making curious observations (online) since 2005.

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Friday, October 14, 2005

Jew Year's Resolutions

Well, Yom Kippur is over and it's time to get back to the business of life and living it.
It's been my intention all through the last month, and especially since Rosh HaShana to sit down and do a real Cheshbon Ha'Nefesh (sort of an inventory of the soul) to figure out where or who I am and where or who I want to be.

That's a hard thing to do...
Somehow I've managed to fill up my days with work, cooking, sukkah building and more recently basement bailing and I have not allowed myself anytime to focus on my own self development. But now it's time, and if I have to force myself to do it "On Blog" to get it done, so be it.

After considerable thought, here are my resolutions for the year:

1) Stay Calm
I tend to get overwhelmed suddenly and without warning. I lose my temper with my husband and my kids briefly but intensely and surely more often than they deserve. I will try to have more perspective and find new ways to get my point across. It's hard to take a raving lunatic seriously and I don't want to be that lunatic.

2) Daven(Pray)
You know, davening is good. I davened more during the aseres yemi tshuva (the 10 days between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur) than I did the rest of the year combined and it give me a lot to think about during the day. It's very anchoring in terms of reminding me of my daily relationship with God and my connection to Him.

3) Be a Better Friend
Life is busy, and it's easy to forget that lots of people have it tough, tougher than me for sure.
There a lot of people I should just call on the phone now and then to let them know I'm thinking of them and that I think they are doing a great job with the life they've been dealt, and how much they mean to me. Friendships are what makes life sweet, I should be doing more to cultivate new relationships and tend to my old ones as well. I hope to have more shabbos guests this year, attend more of the events I'm invited to, and just be in touch with people who mean a lot to me or people who just need a friend.

4) Watch My Mouth
I talk too much, it's true, just ask my husband!
I complain a lot. I bash things, and people, and ideas while not offering up any thing better myself. I need to do more and talk less. I also find sometimes say inappropriate things (especially online) just to get a laugh, or just because I can.
It's OK to not be funny sometimes- not every humorous thing I think of needs to be unleashed upon the world.

5) Make Things Happen
This year I'm not going to wait for the right job to magically appear, for my my children to magically start helping and stop fighting, for the extra pounds I've put on to suddenly vaporize, for my chance to shine...
I'm going to make it happen.

I wish you all a wonderful year!!


At 10:35 AM, Blogger Shifra said...

Confidential to Punim: If you want publicity just email me- I hate spam.

At 11:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work with your blog. I'm surprised how you manage to write so much, great job.

If you ever want to visit my site (I'm just getting started) or if you just want to download full length movies be sure to visit me and drop me a line.

At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those are good resolutions. Maybe too many to run after at once though. None of us are perfect and your family & friends love you with all your flaws. (Small flaws they are too.) I think, for me, I'm going to try to add some Torah learning into each day. It's a small thing, but can't hurt.

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Shifra said...

Yes you are right, but those are my year's goals. I will need to break it down into more manageable chunks.

Learning everyday is a wonderful idea that can only lead to more and more good things.
You go girl!

At 2:13 PM, Blogger Regina said...

Those are excellent resolutions, Shifra... I'll add them to my list! I am just starting down the road to my conversion to Judaism and I am having such a great time visiting all the J-blogs- I am learning a lot too! Cheshbon Ha'Nefesh- I'll remember that- I feel like that's what I have been going through a lot lately...
I'll be sure to visit you more often!

At 8:11 AM, Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said...

My Big Cheshbon HaNefesh is to add a serious links section to my blog. I have been so lax in that, and its very important...

Maybe over sukkot.

At 10:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shifra, I am glad to know that I am not the only one with the same list (except for the davening.) These past few weeks I too have been doing a lot of soul searching and for the first time in a long time, have wanted to actually attend services for the high holidays. I hope we both can be successful with our goals. The mental health of our families and friends are counting on it.


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