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Ask Shifra

Something Different... Answering questions and making curious observations (online) since 2005.

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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Jewish Women- Hot or Not? - An Introduction

There has been some debate going around the Jewish Blogesphere about whether Jewish Women, specifically MARRIED Jewish women, can be hot.

While I hesitated to take this topic on because I was (and still am) concerned about where it might lead I realized there are some issues surrounding this question that bear thought and discussion.
Here are some of the issues I considered:

What is the stereotype of the Married Jewish Woman (MJW) and how accurate is this stereotype?
What is the definition of “Hot” in this context?
Does a woman’s martial status affect the way she is viewed by men?
Is it possible to be both hot and modest simultaneously?

That’s just a start. Post your questions/issues on this topic below (phrased respectfully of course) and we’ll start digging into this topic right away!

Conceptual Credit: AMSHINOVER


At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

With all due respect, I think it's a pretty silly question. Of course married Jewish women can be "hot." Why should one's religion, ethnicity, race or marital status have any bearing on whether they are attractive? Beauty knows no boundaries.

Of course, it also depends on your definition of beauty. Everyone is beautiful in some way. Well, except for Bea Arthur. That is one scary-looking lady.

So sayeth Thulsa Doom!

At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is a nice thought doom, but really I'm looking at this from a more specific point of view. There is no doubt in my mind that a Jewish Married woman can be beautiful and many are, the question is really about "Hotness" specifically and what that means.

If we define hotness as attractive sexually (which we have not gotten to yet, so I'll use my own definition) then is it even desirable/permissible for a religious, Jewish manner to appear in this manner outside of her own bedroom? This is another issue worth discussing. Is a Jewish married woman's sexuality or even her womanhood a secret to the rest of the world?

What about a Religious Jewish single woman how much of her self can she reveal?

At 11:08 AM, Blogger AMSHINOVER said...

Is it possible to be both hot and modest simultaneously?Rashi said ayn daver yoffie Me'tznuah and where's my hatip

At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah well that's "Yofi" (beauty) and but still not quite the same thing as hottness.

As for your hat tip- I cannot tip my hat for fear of revealing any of my hair but I will credit you momentarily.

At 12:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry I misinterpreted your initial question. Not being particularly religious, I am not qualified to comment on how to strike a balance between one's sexuality and one's faith. I will leave that to others.

However, I still stand by my comment about Bea Arthur. I've seen herring with more sex appeal.

So sayeth Thulsa Doom!

At 12:10 PM, Blogger AMSHINOVER said...

there are hot jewish frum women,just not in the jblog

At 12:15 PM, Blogger Just Passing Through said...

I think what started this was the link you gave for snoods.
Some of the women they had pictured there were 'hot'. Married or not, there's just a look- and that's obviously up to each person's preferences.

I thought this one was great. Its the Jewish/Amish Look: http://www.tznius.com/cgi-bin/product.pl?productid=245&groupid=41

At 1:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's my take.
1. The definition of "hot" is sexually attractive, and I don't mean slutty or outside the boundaries of tznius, just...you know...hot.
2. Yes its ok for a married frum woman to be and dress sexy and attractive out of the bedroom.
3. I believe from experience that married women become sexier if not hotter as time goes on.
I do believe there is a problem in the system - The Bais Yaakov where my wife learnt taught the girls to be complete assexuals, instead of modesty. Girls either rebelled and went slutty or followed and had issues to conquer once married....Oh, and some turned out fine.
Like Amshi.

At 1:56 PM, Blogger AMSHINOVER said...

brutus do i know you from "SHE" of unbroken glass?and BTW it was appropriate that sara schenuer never wed,all her schools preach catholic sex dogma

At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Regarding hotness of married folks.... Last weekend, we were visiting the in-laws in Chicago and found out that there was NO ROOM for our kids to stay at their cousin's house! They would have to stay at the hotel with me & Ted.

BIG PROBLEM! Only one room, and I didn't bring any pajamas. I mean, c'mon, I was planning on some quality time with my husband. Who needs clothes?

I said (out loud!) that I hadn't brought any pajamas. After a good laugh, my sister-in-law said she would lend me some. But not before my brother-in-law gave me a raised-eyebrow look that made me turn beet red.

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Air Time said...

Growing up, there were a few of my friend's moms who were total milfs.

But I don't like the definition of attractive sexually. That is way too broad.

At 2:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Airtime- my definition is too broad for you - by all means, try and pin it down. JPT refers to it as something even less definable.

As for Brutus- good comment. I guest posted a while back on Dovbear about Jewish Sex-ed. My basic theory is that by not addressing the sexuality of jewish teens we basically ask them to surpressing completely (or rebel as you said) then we expect them to either wake up suddenly or get in line when their wedding day comes. That is not going to happen all by itself.

Mirty- From one mom to another I recommend you always bring a robe when you travel, you never know when you will need to jump out of bed in the middle of the night.

At 2:39 PM, Blogger Air Time said...

Hotness is look which screams out sexuality. It says come and take me if you think you can.

There is an element of aloof bitchiness in hotness.

Because it is the same hotness that also keeps you from getting to close to quickly.

At 2:39 PM, Blogger AMSHINOVER said...

my sister in-law refers to many of my friends wives as sluts till one day i finaly saw the common denominator in all theses"sluts" they are hot & she is well,NOT.

At 2:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well Air Time, according to your definition I'm not sure that "hot" is what any frum or married woman should be.

My next question for you is: Is this a look that is intentionally projected by a woman or merely interpreted by a man.

At 2:55 PM, Blogger AMSHINOVER said...

Is this a look that is intentionally projected by a woman or merely interpreted by a man.
BOTH and interpreted by women and men

At 2:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you agree with AT's definition Amshi?

You seem to use "hot" a little more mildly than AT.

At 3:19 PM, Blogger Air Time said...


At 3:20 PM, Blogger Air Time said...

But here is an exception to the rule. Hot girls/women know they are hot. Really hot girls have no idea.

At 3:43 PM, Blogger Just Passing Through said...

I think hot can be also defined as a woman you'd want to be seen with and want to show off.

At 4:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes Amshi, we were best friends on She's blog. Catholoc dogma without the short skirts is not catholic dogma. At least thats what my 15 year old self is yelling at me from my past.

To qualify "hot" further. I believe its 25% choice of dress, 25% g-d given looks, and 50% confidence and attitude. I totally disagree with AirTime, it has nothing to do with sex per se. Being hot (according to my definition) is completely muttar. In my opinon of course.

At 4:41 PM, Blogger AMSHINOVER said...

frum women can be hot,i see it in crown hieghts often.it's an attitude and its a feeling it can be a part of a person's veltenschaunn .but a milf thats a whole different genre.
BTW,Brutus did you find out why SHE stopped?give ya a hint I know.;)

At 5:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amshinover, was it because of us? Or we were just the last straw? Or is that the same thing? What did we do already? Blog in yiddish? Is that such a crime?

At 6:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anyone know what Amshi and Brutus are talking about? Bastorah or something?

Guys like a challenge; thus the fascination with bitchy, bored women. But once they are married, they like to chase, but they also like to catch!

At 9:23 PM, Blogger Eliyahu said...

when we start glimpsing wisps of smoke rising around the snood, and we see those smoldering eyes...that we could call hot.

At 12:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

um i'm not entirely sure, but, i do know that alot of the chassidic jewish young laidies have bad habits of wearing overly tight, however apropriate collar, sleeve langth ect, clothes, i for one wouldnt be cought DEAD in something like that! (nor most of my friends)

At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i see it in crown hieghts often

amshinover, sounds to me like your a native...

At 11:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not with a name like Amshinover. Unless thats his real last name which I highly doubt and would be a complete giveaway.
From reading Amshinovers public blogposts across the jewish blog spectum over the past few months this is my take:
Amshinover was a regular LW-UO yeshiva guy with some chassidish blood deep in his soul which was reawakened during his customary yeshiva years in Israel post-highschool. He was probabaly enamored with the rebbe in har nof, maybe went to see him once or twice at 4am. probably on Chanuka. He went to one of the numerous yeshivas in the vicinity of yechezkel and shmuel hanavi. And maybe now he frequents Crown Heights once in a while. But definitely not a native lubab.
Amshi- Am I hot or cold?

At 11:27 AM, Blogger AMSHINOVER said...

warm brut,good reading

At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always scored in the top 98% in reading comprehension. Finally I'm making use if this skill in the real world.

At 12:15 PM, Blogger AMSHINOVER said...

Amshinover is a regular LW-UO yeshiva guy(parents are HD zionists) with some chassidish blood deep in his soul(zadie gave blatt shuir in gur untill his stroke) which was reawakened during his yeshiva years in monsey post-highschool(i'm not run of the mill). He was probabaly enamored with the rebbe in har nof(bait vegan,and my family has been amshinov for over 100 years), went to see him once or twice at 4am. probably on Chanuka(sorry no)but now i see him once or twice a year). He went to one of the numerous yeshivas in the vicinity of yechezkel and shmuel hanavi(i went to all of 'em). And maybe now he frequents Crown Heights once in a while. But definitely not a native lubab,can't say that i am

At 10:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a feeling every one of us was in Bayit Ve'gan at some point in our lives.... If we ever have a j-blog Shabbaton, it will have to be on Rehov Pisgah. (Am I remembering the name right?)

At 7:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

can i get more info?


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