Bathrobes and Bad Mouthing

My husband walked outside today to get the paper wearing nothing but sneakers and socks. This is not the problem.The problem is some people think he's a genius. I've seen him walk straight into walls.How do I let the world know he's not as smart as they think he is?

Signed,Bewildered

Dear Bewildered,

First, I suggest you buy your husband a bathrobe and hang it near the door. While I'm sure your neighbors enjoy the free show, walking out naked is still against the law from what I understand.

Second, why does it bother you that people think your husband is so smart? Would you rather they know the truth, that you are married to an uncoordinated streaker? That would reflect poorly on you as well, I would think, since you did choose him afterall.

If you are dead-set on outing your husband at all costs- keep in mind that intelligence is usually judged on a relative basis, so the smarter you seem when you are out in public together the dumber he will seem. Keep the conversation on topics only you know anything about for example. Also you could toss out a few revealing tales here and there. If your husband is still talking to you at the end of the night you are not trying hard enough.

-Shifra